The COVID-19 pandemic has created a “new normal”. As a society, we have settled into working from home, virtual schooling, wearing masks, and social-distancing. Many of us parents, primarily moms, have been at home with our children since March 2020, while working or looking for jobs. Every day, we are juggling work demands, child care, and home maintenance while trying to hang on to the hope that things will soon return to normal. It has been a tremendous struggle, resulting in great amounts of stress and for some, burnout.
What is burnout?
Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion resulting from prolonged or repeated stress. It usually occurs when you feel extremely stressed, overwhelmed, and unable to meet demands. Burnout has a negative impact on your productivity, and it can leave you feeling helpless, resentful and hopeless, or as if you have nothing else to give. Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. Instead, there are signs and symptoms that indicate your path to burnout. If caught in time, you can prevent the set-in of burnout and the possible need for professional help.
Many of us are experiencing burnout, and we aren’t even aware of it. According to experts, this is common. More than 60% of parents have experienced symptoms of burnout at some point, and between 5%-20% have experienced set-in burnout as a result of the pandemic. COVID-19 pandemic factors, such as financial insecurity, lack of support from family and friends, and lack of leisure time have been linked to burnout. Among these factors, working mothers and single mothers are at greatest risk.
Signs and symptoms of burnout
There are physical, emotional, and behavioral signs of burnout. Some physical signs of burnout include frequent headaches, muscle pain, illness, and change in appetite or sleep pattern. Emotional signs of burnout include emotional detachment from children, a sense of failure and self-doubt, and decreased satisfaction. Behavioral signs of burnout include taking out frustrations on children and/or a significant other, withdrawing from responsibility, and using food, drugs, or alcohol to cope. Not dealing with symptoms of burnout could result in major problems, such as depression or physical illness.
Treatment and Prevention
The good thing about burnout is that you can treat the signs and symptoms at home. With a few simple and intentional steps, you can regain control and get back on track to a healthy and productive you. Below are a few tips to deal with symptoms of burnout.
Talking to another parent, who relates to your problem, can help relieve stress, blame, and guilt. Contact a friend or acquaintance who understands your situation, and share your problems with that friend. You can also create a parenting group (Ex. “mommy club” or “dad club”). Meet with your group (virtually or socially distanced if in-person) and share your challenges AND successes.
Being more intentional about balance in your life can decrease the likelihood of stressful situations. If you are struggling to find balance between home- and work-life during this pandemic, I encourage you to write down your top 5 work-related priorities at the beginning of each week. Rank them in order, most important to least important, and assign one priority to each day of the work week. If you have more than 5 priorities, reevaluate your boundaries. You should be limiting your boundaries to avoid creating an overwhelming environment. If your job is not understanding of your boundaries, you should seek advice from upper management.
You are your biggest critic. No parent is perfect, so give yourself a break. Striving to be perfect is a for sure way to experience stress and possible burnout. Instead, allow yourself to make mistakes, commit to self-care, and veer off the daily schedule from time to time.
Although you may not want to, exercising can have positive effects on your mood and mental state. Exercising can increase your energy level and relax your mind. It can also remove stress from your body. Effective exercises to relieve stress include walking, running, yoga, dancing, martial arts, and swimming.
Your food and drink intake can impact your mood, and therefore how you respond to stressful situations. Be sure to drink plenty of water during the day. Also, limit your intake of fast foods and processed foods as they tend to burn energy and negatively affect your mood. Avoid nicotine and alcohol as they are linked to increases in anxiety.
If you have set-in burnout, and you are experiencing thoughts of hopelessness and/or thoughts of harming yourself or your children, please seek professional help as soon as possible. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has provided a list of free resources, including access to licensed mental health professionals. Access the list [here]. I am praying for you and cheering you on to a full recovery!
This is such a timely topic. I talk with so many parents from week to week and they are at the ends of the their ropes trying to juggle it all- Single mothers with no family support specifically.
Thanks for sharing.
Yes! I give kudos to single mothers for accepting the challenge of doing it all! They are most at need for support and mental health services. It would be so nice if all schools offered mental health services for parents or access to mental health resources.